Navigating the digital world can be as enlightening as it is perilous. All of us, adults and children alike, turn to the internet for education, entertainment, connection, and resources. But just like in the real world, there are things we must do while online to protect ourselves from unsafe individuals.
3 out of 4 young people have a home Internet connection. In addition, according to the meta-analysis of Madigan et al. (2018), 11.5% of minors (12-16 year-olds) received sexual requests in the online context. In addition, according to the study of Longobardi et al. (2021), 14% of adolescents between 11 and 14 years claim to have been a victim of online sexual harassment by an adult. (Greene-Colozzi et al. (2020))
Predators use an array of tactics, from phishing to sextortion — all having a lasting effect on those who fall prey. This blog aims to shine a light on the nefarious predators and their tactics used to lure and groom vulnerable youth online.
SPOT THE RED FLAGS
Recognizing the signs of online grooming is important. Here are some key indicators:
- Secrecy about online activity: Your child may avoid discussing what they do on the internet or may close/hide screens when others approach.
- Changes in behavior: You may observe noticeable changes such as an increased use of digital devices, mood swings, anxious tendencies, avoidance of school or social activities.
- Unexplained gifts: If your child receives packages or gifts through the mail, like cell phones, games, or other valuable items, which the child is secretive about or cannot explain, this can be a red flag.
- New accounts or devices: When a child suddenly starts using new social media accounts, email addresses, or the use of additional devices of which parents were not aware, might suggest an attempt to hide communication with a groomer.
- Talking about new or older friends: If a child talks about a new, typically older friend they’ve met online who you have never met or heard about, it’s crucial to investigate further.
- Emotional Overreactions to being denied access to digital devices or social accounts.
If you notice any of these red flags, it’s essential to talk to the child in a supportive and non-confrontational way to address the issue. Contact professionals such as child psychologists, school counselors, or law enforcement who can provide further guidance and support.
95% of child abuse and victimization is preventable through prevention education and awareness. Knowledge equips us with the ability to recognize early red flags of abuse, grooming, and other inappropriate behavior.
Fostering Digital Safety in Your Home: Strategies for Parents
Setting boundaries and connecting with your child about their online interactions and activity is not only crucial, but it can also be life-saving. As parents, there are steps you can take to protect your child online better.
Here are some practical ways to ensure their online experiences are safe and age-appropriate:
- Open communication – Have open and honest conversations about online safety, digital citizenship, and the importance of privacy. Having these conversations in a casual and comfortable way can build trust and give youth the confidence to talk to their Safe Adult if they have issues or encounter unsafe situations online.
- Parental Controls – We encourage parents to familiarize themselves with their child’s device’s parental settings and controls. This is particularly important for any games or apps that allow communication through chat, video, or voice. This can provide insight into their activity and usage.
- Set the Tone and Set Some Boundaries – Create a set of internet-use guidelines that fit your child’s age and maturity level, including what types of websites are appropriate, what information they are allowed to share online, and boundaries around the reasonable times for digital device/internet use. Boundaries should also include the use of devices in common areas of the home only. When talking to your kids about your expectations for their digital and social media use, review the privacy settings for each social media or online account to ensure they are protected and maintain privacy.
- Participate in their Online Activities – When possible, we encourage you to join your children in their online activities, whether that be through playing a game together, following their social media accounts, watching funny videos together, or just asking them to give you a “tutorial” on how to use whatever app they use often. This not only helps you understand what they are consuming, it helps strengthen your relations and keeps the communication open.
- Don’t React Harshly – If your child experiences something inappropriate or unsafe online, your first reaction may be to take away their digital device completely. However, this could discourage them from coming to you in future instances. Suppose your child encounters something unsafe or engages in something inappropriate online, it’s crucial for parents and caregivers to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting harshly. Responding calmly and appropriately will encourage open communication, provide effective problem-solving (that will be received)e support, and build resilience.
Creating a Safe Online Environment: Tips for Kids
Here are five tips from Richard Guerry, the founder of The Institute for Responsible Online and Cell Phone Communication (IROC2.org), to help promote good digital citizenship and help kids develop a Digital Consciousness™:
- Don’t Overshare – When it comes to communicating online, remind kids: If you would not share it (e.g. personal information), or take it (e.g. a random bag or box) from a stranger in the local park, please do not share it or take (download) it from a stranger online – the global park. The difference between the local park and the global park is that there are billions more people online, and the more we share or download, the higher the risk of our personal and private information getting into the wrong hands.
- Don’t share your itinerary—Vacations are always fun to share on social media, but use caution when doing so. When posting about vacations while on vacation, always try to use past-tense language and turn off geo-tags. This will help lower the risk of anyone who sees your post knowing you are not home, minimizing the risk of vandalism or theft.
- Be Kind and Think About Your Future – Posting or commenting harmful things (also known as Cyber Cruelty) can inflict mental and emotional damage, as well as have very negative short- and long-term consequences on education, employment, and legacy. Going viral is not always a good thing these days! You don’t have to look very hard to see how past cruel and inflammatory social media posts have come back to close the window on an opportunity for a person and tarnish their reputation. Here are just a few examples:
- THINK before you post – When posting on social media, you should never expect your posts to remain private. “Only my friends will see” is too often the famous last words for so many people who have posted to a private group, sent a private message, or posted a “disappearing” story, before those posts are screenshot and shared. “Think before you post” reminds you to consider the potential consequences of what you share online:
- T – Is it True?
- H – Is it Helpful?
- I – Is it Inspiring?
- N – Is it Necessary?
- K – Is it Kind?
- Don’t Be Afraid to “Talk it Up” – We encourage youth to talk to a Safe Adult in their life if they ever encounter an unsafe situation or something inappropriate (online and in real life). Safe Adults can provide guidance, give you an objective perspective, and support. It may be jarring to talk to adults about issues or online encounters with the fear that they may respond harshly, but Safe Adults can help you take preventive measures before issues arise and minimize the impact of online risks.
In conclusion, awareness and knowledge are foundational to effective prevention education because they transform passive bystanders into proactive defenders against abuse and grooming. Collectively, we play a role in a safe community, online and offline. By arming ourselves with strategies and knowledge, we can create a safer online environment for ourselves.
